I've run pretty bad in MTTs this past couple of weeks. I don't think I've written about a lot of bad beats, but this one stung. I had about 13BBs left in the middle stages of a $50 freeze out. I raised to 2.5x the BB I believe from early position with AA and got reshipped on by a guy in the cutoff with about the same stack, he had me covered by a little bit. He had AsQs. The flop was 2 rags and the Js, turn 10s, river Ks. So that was nice. That hand actually made me laugh more than it tilted me. I felt like I played really well most of the time and just kept getting destroyed. I lost with AA I don't know how many times. I've only gone legitimately deep in one $5 tournament where I made a pretty stupid move to end my tournament when I could have continued to play standard ABC poker and made a good run at a final table. I was in the BB with 85o. An UTG passive donkey limped like he had been doing about 55% of the hands I'd played with him. I think it was folded around to me and I checked. The flop was 8 4 6 giving me top pair and a gutter. I believe my first mistake was not leading at this flop as I know that he will fold 2 overs and there aren't a whole lot of turn cards I like besides a 7 or 8, maybe a deuce or trey. I started the hand with 50BBs or so covering the UTG player by about 8BBs. I decided I was going to check raise big if he led at the flop, which is a terrible thing to do against a weak passive player. My experience is that a weak passive player doesn't do a whole lot of C-bet bluffing, and if they do, it's normally the minimum bet. So, with that information at hand, my line was terrible. Anyways, he checked and a J fell on the turn. I checked again, and this time he made a pot sized bet. I was pretty sure he had a J since he's played so passively. Calling wouldn't be terrible since I believe he was donksih enough that I would probably be able to get his stack if I hit a 7 or 8. However, folding is probably the best play at this point. Of course I decided my original line of check raising big (all in in this case) was still the way to go even though I was pretty sure he had a J. He had KJ and called right away and I whiffed. That hand was what really sent me on tilt that I was dumb enough to do that. In a $5 tournament, straight forward easy ABC poker will do you very good and I forgot that was how I had built my stack in the first place. Oh well.
I definitely went on tilt and played some heads up matches out of my bankroll range for sure because I'm an idiot. I'm now attempting to save for a house, so my poker deposits are going to be put on hold basically. I have about $250 left on Full Tilt. That will remain there, and I will attempt to maintain some discipline for once and grind that up to a decent size bankroll that I should already have anyways. I've had a few 4 figure scores in the past 4 months and really don't have a whole lot to show for it. I'm just about even over the past 4 months because of tilt (and one drunk ass night). The sad part is that I've had a profit of about $5K in MTTs in that same time frame. I'm not sure what the best way to help me with discipline is, but hopefully the idea that I won't be making anymore deposits will keep me from blowing what I still have. I'm thinking that if I do end up tilting off what I have, I'll just put a 6 month self exclusion on my accounts, and that will be it for a while.
I love this game, and I love winning even more. I truely think I am good at this game for the little amount that I have played compared to a lot of the top players. I also feel like I am humble enough to know that I have an enormous amount to learn, but have the ability to do so if I put my mind to it. Looking back at some of the posts that actually have hands, I've already gotten a ton better. There was a post that had a sit n go hand from a $3.40 turbo on Stars where I was proud of raising with ATo and calling a shove from a crazy player. While it was a good call, the raise was pretty bad in the first place.
This blog started off as a challenge blog, and I think it should go back to that. I did manage to take $100 on Pokerstars and turn that in to $1000 in a pretty short time before I final tabled that $75 freeze out on Full Tilt and started to think I was super sweet and could quit screwing around with the challenge. The best part about the challenge is that I was disciplined and didn't go crazy when I ran bad. Maybe that's all I need. I should start another challenge with the $250 I have on Full Tilt and attempt to turn that in to $10K. Alright, enough with the thinking out loud, that's what I'm going to do. I promise I will update with the progress as well as key hands here and there. If anything, it always helps me to be honest in this thing and document the stupid as well as the good things I do. Later fools.
By the way, the videogame Dead Space, which I have on the PS3 (It's on the XBOX too) is awesome. If you aren't playing it, go buy it now and start playing it.
